Better Than This
by tfssmile
Summary: Phan, AU. Dan's life sucks, in every aspect. He has been bullied all his life, he isn't loved by his parents or his brother and he has no one to turn to. Until he is stared at one day by a black-haired boy. Could be triggering.
1. Chapter 1

**Hi! I'm Briony! This is my first phanfiction and I'm actually really excited about writing it, so.. I hope you're reading this. So, here comes the usual stuff:**

**None of this is real, as much as I would like phan to be real, is is very unlikely that it is, and well, this DEFINITELY didn't happen, so entirely fiction. I'm saying this now, I don't own Dan and Phil, but then again, you already know that because I'm pretty sure I didn't give birth to them, and they are not my slaves so.. yeah I don't own them. Right, waffling on is over, onto the phanfic!**

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Dan sighed as he pulled on his shirt over his frail body; half-heartedly doing up his buttons and tying the burgundy tie loosley under his collar. He didn't bother looking smart anymore, none of his teachers cared, or even noticed him for that matter. Dan tugged his sleeves down over his battered and bruised arms and looked at himself in the cracked mirror, hanging lopsided on the damp wall of his box bedroom.  
He examined the bags under his eyes from lack of sleep, the bruise on his nose from where it was broken a few weeks ago, the cut lip which had recently split open again from the tossing and turning he did in bed.

The walk to school wasn't the most joyful but then again, it never was. Dan didn't bother to say bye to his mum, she wouldn't care. No one cared. He would walk with his brother but..-  
"Oi! Faggot!" He heard his brother and his group of 'tag alongs' call from behind him. He'd learnt long ago not to retaliate as even though they were all younger than Dan, they were a hell of a lot stronger. Dan carried on walking, avoiding the calls from his younger brother.

The walk into school was the same as always. He was ignored, and people walked away from him as if he was a walking disease, and that happened everyday. He blasted muse through his shitty, little earphones attached to his old, battered mp3 player which was about 10 years old.  
He stared at his feet until he bumped, well more like collided, with someone. The someone who he definitely didn't want to 'bump' into.  
Tom Falcone was a tall, blonde, intimidating yet fairly attractive 16 year old who pretty much ruled the school, and had ruined Dan's life for basically all the time he had been at this school.  
Tom ripped the earphones out of Dan's ears, breaking them in the process, and dropping them absentmindedly on the floor, where they were trodden on by all the students who pushed past. "Don't you know better than to not look where you're going, fag?" Tom smirked as he full-pelt punched Dan in the stomach, winding Dan instantly and making him curl up and slide down the locker that was behind him. The bell rang, indicating that the first lesson was now starting, and Dan continued to look at the floor as he heard Tom snickering to him mates as he walked away.  
The corridor was now empty. Dan's tinny music player was trying its hardest to blast muse as loud as it could out of the pocket of Dan's trousers. He could see his crumpled earphones lying on the floor about three metres in front of him.  
But there were feet behind the earphones. Dan's eyes trailed up the legs which the feet were attached to, up the torso and then his eyes reached the pale face. The boy that was standing there had glossy black hair which looked soft to touch. His eyes literally shone. They were the bluest eyes Dan had ever seen.  
He's never seen this boy before. As much as Dan wanted to speak to this mysterious beauty, the pain in his stomach was getting too much. He tried to concentrate on the muse that was playing from his pocket.  
Dan could feel the boy's gaze boring into his skull. Why as he staring? His paranoia started to develop. What was going on? Had Tom set him up to this to slowly drive Dan insane? Something inside Dan told him to shout. And that voice kept nagging him to. That, mixed with the pain in his stomach got too much. God Tom could pack a punch. "What do you want?!" Dan's voice was horse and harsh.  
The raven haired boy ran off suddenly, leaving Dan to wallow in his own pain.  
This music player suddenly cut out, Dan knew he should have charged it. He thought to what lesson he had. English. He could miss it. No one would care, no one would miss him.

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**HELLO AGAIN! Its Briony from the top of the chapter! So please R&R guys, I don't like to beg, but reviews are amazing and they help me so much! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys! Thank you so much for the reviews, they are amazing! I know that Phil's character isn't that clear yet but it will soon... I hope anyway. Right, on with chapter 2!**

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Dan trudged up the uncarpeted stairs to his familiar box bedroom that he practically lived in, after a day of being beaten up and then ignored by everyone. He walked past his brother's bedroom and hesitantly looked in, to find it empty. 'Good,' he thought, he could actually go into his own room without being hassled. Dan then remembered something about his brother saying that he was staying at a friend's tonight.  
Dan stepped forward a little more and looked into the room. He'd never really had a chance to see Adrian's room, but he did know that he was; well not spoilt; but he did get a lot more stuff than Dan did.  
Dan was the 'mistake' child. He was born when his parents were still teenagers and wasn't wanted. He wasn't planned. Why he wasn't aborted, he didn't know, but Dan wasn't meant to be there. His brother on the other hand, was planned, and was brought into the world a few years later to parents who wanted him.

The first thing Dan saw was the laptop lying on the bed, with stickers of bands stuck all over the top. The main sticker standing out was the muse one that was bigger than the rest and were stuck right into the centre of it. Oh how Dan wanted that sticker.  
He then spotted the xbox that was sitting in from of the TV. So it wasn't an extravagant flat screen TV, but it was more TV than Dan would ever have.  
He saw Adrian's earphones lying on the bed next to the laptop. Wait, were there two pairs there? Surely his brother wouldn't notice if Dan took a pair for himself? They look the same, and they're two pairs, he only needs one? Surely? He doesn't have two sets of ears...

_I'll just take the ones which look the oldest..._ Dan said to himself. He reluctantly stepped forward, and picked up the blue earphones, squeezing his hands around them, feeling that if he held them tighter, it would be less obvious. Dan scurried out of the room, and back into his room where he laid down on his bed and pulled his ancient mp3 player out of his pocket. He tried to turn it on before realising that it ran out of battery earlier.  
"Shitting dick nipples." Dan groaned.  
After a long game of 'where the fuck is my charger', Dan found it and plugged it into the only plug socket in his room.  
Looking in the mirror, he saw his hobbit hair (it had been raining on the way home). "Great. Can my day get any better?" Dan huffed sarcastically, pulling his prized hair-straighteners out from under his bed. They'd once been his mum's, but she threw them in the bin for some strange reason, as they still worked. To be honest, he didn't know why he bothered, no one was going to see him, and even if they did, no one would care.  
Leaving his straighteners to heat up, and knowing no one was home, Dan went down stairs, very quickly I might add, to get a drink, and maybe a few painkillers to kill the pains that were going on in his stomach. This was an everyday occurance. Come home, go upstairs, listen to music, go downstairs, take about 10 painkillers to take away the pain of that day, and then back upstairs for more music and then pass out from the amount of 'drug' in him.  
Running back up the stairs was a task as Dan was so unfit that just going up the stairs caused him to cough up blood.  
He went back to straightening his hair, when out of the corner of his eye, he saw a spark fly from the direction of the plug socket. And then another. And another. "Shitting fuck no."  
His bedroom light shut off. His straighteners shut off. His mp3 player stopped charging. "Shitting fuck no." Dan repeated. He threw his straighteners down and ran out the house, no wanting to be home when his parents came home to a house with no electricity. Dan was already an abused screw-up as it was, he didn't need anymore beatings.  
Dan was running so fast when he ran out of his house that he didn't realise the crouching figure in his front garden. Tripping over the figure, Dan landed on the floor. He looked over at the figure who was also now lying on the floor. He'd seen him before. It was the guy who was staring at him at school. He was staring at him now. "are.. are you... are you stalking me?" Dan asked warily. The black-haired boy leapt up, and ran off, leaving Dan on the floor.  
"Wait!" Dan called, "...what's your name...?" He half called, half whispered after the blue-eyed beauty.

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**Well done Briony, take 15 years to update...  
Exams + lack of ideas = no update :(  
Also, this is a pretty shit chapter, sorry :(**


	3. Chapter 3

Dan stood up and groaned as he felt a pain shoot down his leg and pulsate in his ankle. He looked around and saw the black haired boy sprint off around a corner. Despite the agony, Dan half-limped, half ran after the stranger, following him around the corner. He had to be honest, the stranger was fairly intriguing.

Dan stopped. He had followed his guy into an alley way.  
"He saw me." The stranger said. He was talking to someone, but that someone had his back to Dan. Dan gulped. _Why are they talking about me?!_  
"Did you find out anything on him?" Dan knew that voice. The stranger was talking to Tom Falcone?  
"Only that he runs a lot..." The stranger said reluctantly. Dan could tell from the way the black-haired boy said it that he didn't want to be there.  
"Well you could have found out more!" Tom raised him voice. The boy trembled slightly, "but you did get information, Phil, so here." _So he's called Phil._  
Tom reached into his pocket and pulled out a few notes, "A little less this time though, as you didn't find out that much." Tom handed the notes to Phil. _Tom's paying this guy to spy on me?! _  
Dan had managed to gasp pretty loudly. So loud that Tom spun around. Tom saw his 'victim' standing there; eavesdropping.  
Dan gasped again, and ran, well attempted to. Tom pushed Phil after Dan; shocking him.  
Dan kept running but he tripped, sending him flying to the ground. He looked up to see Phil close behind and went to get up again.  
"Wait!," Phil called, "I'm not going to hurt you. Stay there!"  
Dan didn't. He still went to get up, still in pain, and ran all the way home.  
He halted. That was his parents car in the drive. He couldn't go in there. He'd get battered to a pulp. But if he went back the way he came, he'd be walking straight into Tom's trap.  
Dan didn't know what to do. His mind was going mental. He started panicking; turning quickly, this way and that, wondering frantically what the hell he was going to do.  
This mixed with the agony of his foot, stomach and head, mixed with the previous 10 pain killers was not good. Dan felt himself going dizzy, his head spinning and his eyesight going and coming back every few seconds.  
Dan fell to the floor, everything going black.

* * *

Dan woke up suddenly. Wait, this wasn't his room, or the ground. He looked at the green and blue walls, the surprising amount of lions and the buffy posters. No, this definitely wasn't Dan's room.  
"Oh, you're awake." Dan shot up out of the bed suddenly; startled. It was the Phil. He classed Phil as creepy.  
"Why the fuck am I in here?" Dan asked wearily, walking back slowly into a corner.  
"You... you passed out... so I... I brought you back.. back to my house... s-sorry..." Phil stuttered out from the door way.  
"Why is Tom paying you to spy on me?!" Dan's voice rose; shocking himself slightly over how brave he had suddenly become.  
"T-trust me.. I didn't... didn't want to do it... I n-needed the money, a-and you seemed interesting to be.. be around... sorry." Phil stuttered again.  
"Why do you need the money? Aren't there other ways to get money, like a job maybe? Instead of stalking people and then the bullies giving you money for information. You're a creep!" Dan yelled. He startled himself again. Where had his sudden bravery come from?  
"I need the money!" Phil shouted, stepping into the room more. He brought his head to his hands, shaking slightly as tears fell out of his beautiful blue eyes. "...I just need it."  
Dan stepped towards Phil slowly. He went to place a hand on Phil's shoulder, but thought against it just in case he was lying and takes his arm and flips him over into a deathly karate move, "why do you need it...?"  
"It's a long story," Phil mumbled.  
"I have time."

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**A/N: Well hi there! Sorry for the short chapter! To be quite honest, I'm not happy with this chapter, but hey-ho, its better than no chapter!  
Thank you so much for the reviews I've got, but seriously, if you've read this chapter, review it, please? It helps me a lot, and it critiques me, and makes me better as a writer.  
To hell with it, you can even just say 'Hi', I don't mind :D  
I always sound so happy in these author's notes :D is that a bad thing?  
Okay, I'll babbling on, bye! **

**Btw, sorry for the painstakingly stereotypical Phil bedroom, I needed something, so I worked with it :D okay, bye!**


	4. Chapter 4

"Well..." Phil sighed, and mumbled, "where to begin," he then carried on, "my mum spends pretty much all of our money on herself, by that I mean clothes, nights out, mostly alcohol-"  
"Woah, doesn't your dad do anything?!" Dan cut in.  
"My Dad died 7 years ago..." Phil looked down at his feet.  
"Oh, I didn't... I mean, I don't-"  
"It's alright, not like he was the best person in the world or anything." Phil said; his comment laced with sarcasm; still looking at the floor.  
Dan placed a hand on Phil's shoulder, still wary about whether Phil was going to ninja throw him across the room, but Phil shrugged it off. He wiped a stray tear from his cheek, and composed himself, "so yeah, I need the money because my mum is a useless parent, and I would rather get paid by a bully to spy on you than drug dealing." Phil looked up at Dan and Dan could see the sadness mixed with terror in Phil's eyes.  
"Can't you like... get a job?" Dan asked hesitantly. He still wasn't that comfortable in the bedroom of his supposed stalker.  
"Too much human interaction..." Phil chuckled slightly, "major introvert over here." He pointed to himself jokingly.  
"But you're talking to me, and you're speaking to a total douchebag at school."  
"More like being spoken to... he doesn't let me get a word in. And well... I might seem pretty fine on the outside right now, but I'm hyperventilating inside." Phil looked down at his feet again, "andyouseemprettycool." He mumbled quickly.  
"...Pardon?" Dan asked.  
"I said...," Phil breathed in, "youseemprettycool."  
"I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that again."  
"I SAID YOU SEEM PRETTY COOL." Phil said a bit too loudly to the ceiling.  
"Oh..." Dan blushed, "you do too, even though I originally thought you were a freak..." Dan instantly regretted saying that when he saw Phil's facial expression change to guilt and it made him realise just how vulnerable the poor boy was. Well, at least they had one thing in common for definite.  
"I'm sorry that I scared you... it wasn't the intention at all... I don't want to spy on you! Really I don't!" Phil was going into panic mode, and Dan could see it. It kinda reminded him of how he was before he fainted. The same frantic motion going on in your head, that just confuses you more than you already are.  
"Phil... phil, mate... calm it..." Dan placed both of hands either one of Phil's shoulders and looked in right in his eyes, "breathe..." Phil took deep breaths and slowly stepped back.  
"...thanks." Phil smiled; it wasn't a full smile, but it was a smile none the less. Dan could get used to seeing that smile.

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"So you know what to do right?" Dan asked Phil, as he stepped out of his house.  
"Just tell Tom things that aren't actually true..." Phil looked up at the sky as he tried to remember.  
"Yep, and then I act as if they are true." Dan smiled, "so, I'll see you tomorrow at school, yeah?" Phil nodded. They said bye, and Dan walked down the path out of Phil's front garden. It was then that he realised he didn't know where the fuck he was going. He'd never seen this road before, let alone been down it. He then spotted the park in the distance and realised in fact, he was quite to his house.  
After entering the park, he regretted it straight away as he saw his brother and his 'tag-along' friends sitting on and around the swing set.  
"Oh fuck." Dan said inwardly to himself. He breathed out slowly, before walking calmly past the group with his head down, taking in just how lovely the grass looked this evening.  
"Hey!" They called to him. He kept walking. They continued to shout. God, the park was extremely wide this evening.  
Just as he thought he had made it out alive, a hand grabbed his shoulder and pulled him around.  
"Its polite to answer people when they're talking to you." His brother said, staring him in the eyes. Sometimes he hated the fact that height ran in the family.  
"Isn't it past your bedtime?" Dan felt kinda stronger after his talk with Phil, he had no idea how. He patted his brother on the head like a 5 year old, and walked away. He didn't turn back, but he knew that Adrian was shocked otherwise he would have reacted already.

He had forgotten what had happened at home earlier, until he walked through the door to hear his dad shout, "if that's you Daniel, we need to have a fucking talk."

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**Hey guys! :D Wow, I'm acting uploading regularly? Well kinda... okay, maybe not.. but I'm getting there.  
Thank you so much for the reviews! They mean so much! To be quite honest, I was going to stop writing this and start a new one, but the reviews say otherwise, so thank you so much!**


	5. Chapter 5

**I'm saying this now, there will probably be quite a bit of swearing in this chapter...**

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Dan didn't know whether to be scared or not. Its not like its the first time he's done something wrong that's ended in a beating. I mean, he'd made mistakes before, some things that were far worse than a household power cut. More about that later...

"So I came home from work earlier, bit later than usual, getting kind of dark. Walk through the door, try to turn the light on. What do I find?" Dan's father glared at his son. Dan continued to look at his feet.  
"Look up when I'm talking to you!" His dad yelled; Dan earning himself a slap upwards, so that he was looking directly at his father, "what did I fucking find, Daniel?!"  
"I... I... don't know, dad." Dan lied. He should have known by now that telling the truth is the best thing, but it was more words for his now throbbing jaw to form.  
"Of course you fucking know, you little piece of shit. All the fucking electricity was gone, wasn't it?!" Dan didn't answer, "wasn't it?!" His dad continued to yell, punching Dan in the ribs, followed by a sharp kneeing to the stomach. Dan toppled over, curling up into a ball on the floor, clutching his stomach tightly, and squeezing his eyes shut.  
"Get the fuck up!" His dad kicked him continuously.  
"Oh, it's home." He heard his mum call. _It's. _That just proved how worthless he was. He dad was still kicking him. He could feel the bruises forming.  
Suddenly, the kicking stopped. He didn't open his eyes yet though. "Worthless piece of fucking shit." He heard he Dad say as he walked off. He heard the footsteps slowly fade away.

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Dan opened his eyes to find that he was still on the floor. So, he had fallen asleep there. He lifted his head slightly to see that it was only just getting light outside. His Dad would have already left for work. If he got up now, he would be able to have a shower, get ready and be out the door before anyone else. And that way, if he got to school early, he could just chill out in the library without any hassle.  
Dan moved his leg slightly. A very large shooting pain ran straight up it. He held his fist in his mouth to stop a loud scream coming out. He whimpered and gasped as he got up.  
The pain was agonising. Literally everything on his body was in pain.

After about 5 minutes of getting up the stairs, Dan got into the shower. The water cascaded down his battered and bruised body. He sighed in relief. The water soothed the pain, almost numbed it. He didn't want to move or get out. He just wanted to stand underneath the shower head and be showered with blissful water.  
Eventually though he did have to get out, as he was turning into a raisin.

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The walk to school was quite peaceful. Leaving early was definitely an advantage.  
Dan had avoided using the straighteners this morning, so he had his hobbit hair. He contemplated whether to wear a hat or not, and he decided to because it was a frickin' llama hat and his nan had given it to him for a christmas present once. Dan's Nan was probably the only person who genuinely showed interest in his life, but that was before she died. But that's another story... But he was also wearing it because if he was beaten up already, a hat isn't really going to make that much of a difference.

Once he got into school, he found his way to the library. On the way, he put his bag in his locker, knowing that if he waited till after he came out of the library, Tom would find him and then shit would go down. On him.  
"Hi, Miss Morris!" He greeted the librarian as he walked into the shelved room. There were so many books in there that you almost smell them. She smiled at him in return, and he sat down in the beanbag in the corner of the room, after pulling out a book from the shelf next to him.

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The bell rang, shocking Dan slightly as he was so 'in with the book' that he didn't realise he's been sitting there for 45 minutes. Dan pulled his llama hat onto his head a bit more, and eased himself up. The shower might have helped a bit, but the aches and pains were still there, and he wasn't looking forward to sitting around on uncomfortable plastic school chairs all day.  
Coming into the corridor, he spotted Phil at his locker, looking quite lost, whilst pulling out books that he needed for the day.  
Dan hadn't realised he was standing still, until his hat was pulled off his head. He spun around, to see Tom standing right there, laughing his ass off. "A little birdie told me that you fancy me." Tom said smugly, spinning the hat around on his finger. _I hope he drops it_, Dan thought to himself.  
Dan knew that Phil had told him that as a lie, because Dan didn't fancy Tom, was fairly glaringly obvious reasons. Yeah he was attractive looks wise, but his personality was appalling.  
Dan was daydreaming again, his thoughts spurring off onto worlds where Tom would be eaten by a flying shark.  
He was thrown out of his thoughts though with a sharp punch to the side of his head, causing his vision to go blurry. He was then kicked in both shins, following by a knee to the lower stomach, which was the second time in the past 12 hours. He fell back against the locker, and his eyes locked with Phil's. Phil was just standing there, watching. Surely, is him and Dan were friends, he'd do something? Were they friends? They'd known each other a day, but they knew each other's personal lives. Dan was getting repeatedly punched and kicked, but still managed to have an almost staring contest with Phil.  
Dan could feel anger rising up inside of him. Not about Tom, no. About the fact that Phil wasn't helping. Yes, he had an alliance with Tom, but surely friendship overcame that?  
Dan's hat was dropped to the ground, "faggot," and Tom walked away, laughing to himself about how much of an absolute brilliant person he was.

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Dan had limped his way to Maths, his vision blurring making him bump into walls. He sat down in his seat, knowing full well that Tom and his mate James sat behind him. He could hear their chuckles and insults that entire lesson but he just ignored them.  
About halfway through the class, Dan was busy daydreaming as usual. He was meant to be answering some trigonometry questions but he was not in the fit mind to do so.  
_Bang. _Something hit Dan's back. _Ping!_ And again. _Bang._ It had hit his head now. Dan knew that Tom was firing things at him, but he ignored it, until about 5 hit him a second, causing him to whimper in pain. He felt a cool substance run down his back underneath his thin shirt. Blood.  
Dan reluctantly turned around. Tom was pointing a staple gun at him. _He had been firing staples at me?!_  
Before Dan could register what was going on - _Bang!_

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**Helloooooo! Wow, Briony's uploading two days after the last upload :o its a miracle!  
I would also like to point out that I know staple guns don't go bang, but I couldn't think of anything else. **


	6. Chapter 6

**WARNING: This chapter could be triggering**

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Phil watched as Dan left his house. He waves and when Dan was out of sight, stepped back into this 'home'. To him, it wasn't a home, it was just a building in which he lived. It hadn't been homely for 7 years. Trailing up the stairs, Phil started to think. He felt incredibly guilty. Dan shouldn't have to go through this as it is, without Phil being there making things worse. But he would rather make money than starve. It was like he had an angel and a devil on shoulders, telling him what to do. Was he friends with Dan now? He had Dan's trust. And Dan had his, didn't he? But Dan only knew his story because of his blabbering mouth.  
Maybe Phil should stop being friends with Dan. But its easier to know things if you're with that person, even if you both agreed on telling lies. And besides, Phil didn't have any friends anyway. The only friend he did have was PJ, but he was left behind 8 years ago, when his family moved so that they could be closer to the hospital Phil's dad was having treatment at. Besides, PJ had probably forgotten about him. They were 8 then, now 16, memories can be forgotten.

Phil didn't realise that he had drifted off into a dreamless sleep, until he was awoken by the yells of his mother. He groaned and looked at his alarm clock. 3am.  
Bumping into the wall on the way to the stairs signified that he was still half asleep. He slapped himself a couple of times to wake himself up, before continuing down the stairs.  
"PHIL!" His mum screeched for him.  
"I'm coming, calm your tits." Phil mumbled to himself.  
He walked into the kitchen to find his mother lying obscurely on the floor, his hair all messy, makeup ruining down her cheeks, lying in a manner that revealed way too much, definitely a lot more that her son should see.  
"Get me a beer from the fridge, darling." Phil's mum slurred sweetly, smiling a smile that would scare off a 5 year old child.  
Phil sighed and said, "mum, you should sleep, its 3am." as if on cue, he yawned, showing his own tiredness.  
"Only more reason to partay!" Phil's mum cheered, her mood changed suddenly though, "I said, get me a fucking beer." Slurring and shouting was not a good look at all. Phil was used to this though, so he walked to the fridge and looked in. As usual, his mum had drank it all.  
He turned around suddenly when he heard a loud retching sound. Oh wow, that was attractive.  
This happened every night:****

Phil's mum came home.  
Phil was woken up.  
He was told to get alcohol.  
His mum threw up.  
He cleaned it up and carried her to bed.

After carrying his passed out mother to bed, he looked at his clock again. Almost 4am. There was no point in sleeping now. His insomnia was getting increasingly worse, so even if he tried, he wouldn't be able to get to sleep.

Phil was just laid in bed, thinking about the brown-eyed boy that he was sent to stalk and unintentionally became friends with. But the guilt was flooding back to him now. He just kept remembering his face when he was crouched in the corner of his room. The sheer terror and confusion, and it was all Phil's fault. It was almost like Dan's ace was haunting him.  
His paranoia was setting in. What if Tom found out he was lying? What if his lie was too extreme and ruined Dan's life forever? What if Dan got beaten up so badly that he ended up in hospital and he... and he...  
Phil's breath hitched in his throat. He didn't like these thoughts. He couldn't stop them. He just had image upon image of Dan being punched in the face... throat... stomach...  
Phil started to scratch at his arms, hard, splitting open previous cuts on his pale skin. Ripping open his skin was like a release, like his mental pain was being taken away by physical pain.  
A thought crossed his mind. He remembered earlier when Dan had stopped his panic attack. His nails stopped scraping his arms. Phil just stopped. He laid motionless, thinking that peaceful thought over and over again.

His alarm went off at 7am on the dot. He'd been staring at the ceiling for over 3 hours. He shut off his alarm and got out of bed, going straight for the shower. The whiteness of the bathroom made it even brighter than usual. Phil squinted and adjusted to the light before stripping down and into the shower. As soon as the water cascaded over him, he sighed, then winced. He looked down at his arms, gasping at just how torn up they were. He had properly gone at them on a rampage. He ran his fingers over the faint purple scars along his wrists. These were the first ones, the ones that spurred the most unwanted memories. The hot water was churning up the new wounds, causing them to bleed again. Phil watched as the red fluid ran from his arms to the shower floor, down the plughole. It was almost hypnotic.  
Getting out the shower was the hardest thing to do. Solemnly walking into his bedroom to get dressed, Phil found himself wondering what Dan was up to. _Probably doing the same thing as you, duh._

The walk to school wasn't the most peaceful that it could have been. His lack of sleep was causing him to slip in and out of consciousness and he probably should have stayed at home.  
He tripped out several times, much to the amusement of fellow classmates on their walks to school.  
Before he reached the gate, he was cornered by Tom, "found out anything else?" he said sternly. Phil paused and thought, "he...er... h-he fancies you," he stuttered out.  
Tom laughed, "creepy faggot. Cheers Phil." Tom was about to walk away when Phil mumbled, "can I have my money please?"  
"What was that?!" Tom spun around quickly.  
"I said-"  
"You get it at the end of the day, remember?!" Tom pushed Phil to the ground, laughing off into the distance with his mates.

Phil got up, brushing himself down and walked slowly; to avoid sleep induced collisions; into the school.  
After several attempts of trying to find his locker, the bell had already gone. He stared at his locker.

2, 11, 16

He twisted the lock, but it didn't open.

3, 12, 17?

He tried again. Nope.

4, 11, 18?

The locker opened, and he shook his head a little to shake away the tiredness, and he got his books. He felt like he was being watched.  
"A little birdie told me you fancy me?" Tom's voice echoed from behind him. The lie he had told earlier.  
Phil turned around to see Dan up against a locker, Tom looming over him, a furry hat enclosed in his fist. Dan looked over at Phil, and they locked eyes. Dan's hair was curly, almost hobbit-like. He had a bruise on the underside of his chin which looked new-ish.  
Even when Dan fell to the floor after the impact of a punch to the head, two kicks to the shins and a knee to the stomach, Dan didn't look away. Phil felt the guilt rise back up his body. He didn't have to tell Tom that. But Tom would have just beat Dan up anyway, surely? The angel and the devil were back on his shoulders, battling it out.  
"Faggot, " Tom muttered before going to class, dropping the hat on the floor. The two boys eyes were still locked in almost a staring contest, until 'the devil' told Phil to run. So he did. He ran to science, which he was sure he had.  
He got to his seat and almost jumped into it, startling the girl who sat next to him.  
"Bit late, aren't ya?" Hannah whispered to him. Even though he made an effort to ingnore her, she still tried to make conversation. He shrugged, staring at the textbook in front of him. "Percentages by mass, joy." He muttered to himself.

"So Phil, can you explain to the class how you got an answer to question 4a?" Mr Dunn, the science teacher, asked him. To be quite honest, he hadn't been paying attention.  
"Oh! I know sir! Sir! I know!" Hannah called out next to him. Yep, Phil sat next to the biggest teacher's pet in the school, Hannah Keeping. _I wonder if she keeps things?_ Phil laughed to himself.  
"Phil?!" Mr Dunn pressed.  
"I don't know. Ask little miss suck up over here," the class laughed. He got a laugh! That was an achievement that he felt immensely proud about.  
"No Phil, I'm asking you. Han, calm down." He was even calling her by a nickname, _ew._  
"As I said, I don't know!" Phil shouted to the front where his irritating teacher stood.  
"No need to be like that." Hannah whispered to him.  
"Can you just shut up?! No one likes you!" Phil screamed in Hannah's face, and stormed out the classroom. As he left, he heard Hannah say, "wonder what his problem is." Phil was so tempted to go back in there and say something, but that would defeat the object of storming out.

Phil walked into the toilets to calm himself down. He needed to sleep, that was his main priority, but he wasn't going to take a nap in a toilet cubicle.  
He thought back to his outburst. That wasn't like him at all. Why did he do that? He'd put up with that class, especially Hannah all year. It must have all built up.

He was staring at his reflection, trying to think through everything, when the toilets' door opened.  
"Bit vain, isn't it?" The guy said, chuckling slightly. Phil could see him in the mirror. The hobbit hair gave it away.  
Dan was clutching at his face tightly. He noticed Phil's face change to concern and he slowly took away his hand. The space underneath his right eye was oozing with blood.  
"Someone er.. fired staples at me." Phil turned so he was facing Dan stepped closer so that he could inspect the wound.  
"Dan you need to get that checked out." Phil said, almost sternly, like a father would. The would was hardly visible with the amount of red coming from it, but if you looked closely enough, you could see two tiny specs, about one 5mm above the over. Almost like vampire bites if they were horizontal and a bit further apart.  
"Nah, I'm alright." Dan shrugged, disappearing off into a toilet cubicle.  
"Why would someone even do that?!" Phil exclaimed angrily.  
Dan emerged again with toilet paper, pressing it to his face, "because I'm a gay faggot that no one likes." Dan said seriously. Phil flinched at his words.  
"Now that's not true! I like you."  
"You won't in a week. No one wants to hang around with a gay guy."  
"It will be an adventure! You never know, you might turn me." Phil joked, ending with a wink. Did that count as flirting?  
"Highly doubt it." Dan looked in the mirror, the tissue failing to hide his sullen expression.  
"Oh you never know, you're pretty good looking for a guy." Did he really just say that?! Luckily the bell rang. _Saved by the bell._  
"I.. er.. better...go.." Dan gestured awkwardly to the door before running out, dropping the gammy tissue in the sink.  
Phil cleaned up after him and walked calmly out of the toilets. He walked straight into a group of people.  
"Hey watch it!"  
"Sorry, sorry!" Phil looked into the group of people to see Dan lying on the floor, even more blood pouring out of his face.  
"Try and kiss your boyfriend now!" Someone Phil had never seen said, spitting on Dan.  
"I... I-I dont... h-have o-o..ne." Dan stumbled out.  
"Exactly."_That made no sense._ Phil's scrunched up and he mentally face palmed at the lack of intelligence in humanity.  
"T-that m-made... no s-sense..." Phil laughed at Dan's statement, and the fact he had said that.  
"Shut up!" The bully shouting, stamping down on Dan's lower stomach. Dan groaned, his legs curling up, almost to try and stop the pain from getting to his stomach.  
Phil couldn't take it anymore, "Right. The beating up is over. Nothing to see here." Phil pushed past the crowd, making his way to the 'injured solider'.

After a few mutters and 'oh's', the students cleared out the corridor. The bully stood next to Phil. It was funny because Phil was taller. Oh how he loved height running in his family. Phil loomed over 'the bully'. He was about to protest when Phil cut in, "just leave, you've already done enough." The bully scuttered off like an ant, leaving the two boys alone.  
"Y-you... y-you d-didn't have to... d-do that."Dan stuttered out from the floor as Phil crouched down to sit next to him.  
"Shh... don't talk if it hurts. Of course I did, I did it because you're my friend, Dan." Phil smiled sweetly.  
Dan nodded and closed his eyes.  
"Do you want to leave? I'll miss the rest of the day, I don't care." Dan nodded again.  
_How am I going to do this?_ Phil thought to himself. "I'm going to have to lift you, aren't I?"  
Luckily, Phil had practice from carrying his mother every night. Gracefully, Phil lifted Dan up into a bridal style hold, and carried him out of the back doors of the school that weren't checked. Their school wasn't the best place was security.

Phil took Dan to the field and laid him down. He took of his blazer and scrunched it up, placing it under Dan's head. It was almost silent, the only noise being the rustling of trees and birds singing.  
The quiet was causing Phil to go deep into thought. Dan was beaten up because of Phil's lie, and if he hadn't had flirted, Dan wouldn't have ran straight into the bully. But why didn't Dan defend himself, he was significantly taller than the bully, taller than Phil for that matter. But was being around Dan a good thing, because it meant Phil's introverted side was becoming extroverted? He thought back to his outburst in science and how unlike him that was.  
"P-Phil...?" Dan's weak call brought him out of his thoughts.  
"Yes, Dan?"  
"C-can... c-can we g-go b-back, b-back to... y-your h-house?"

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**Bloody hell this chapter is long! Thank you to gaymazingphil_ on twitter for letting me use her for the Hannah character :D thanks for the reviews guys! I don't want to make this much longer really... thank you! **


	7. Chapter 7

"Can you walk?"  
Dan sat up groaning and clutching at his stomach to try and subside the horror of shooting pain currently travelling through his body.  
Phil motioned to help him, "No, no, its alright, I can do it." Dan dismissed the help, and stretched out before bending his legs so that he could ease himself up into a crouching position.  
Dan continued to try and stand, and he managed to get the whole way. That was until he tried to move his legs, and then they collapsed underneath him, causing him to fall back down on the floor; his lanky legs tangling up on the way down. "Shit, fuck, shitting dick nipples, fucking shit, fuck." Dan cursed over and over, somehow thinking that if he continued to use such horrendous words, the pain might ease.  
Unfortunately for Dan though, Phil had had enough. "Right," Phil said abruptly. Before Dan could register what was going on, he was already in Phil's arms, being carried out of the school field.  
"Phil! I'm capable! Put me the fuck down!" Dan cried out, hating the fact that he was being looked after. He didn't deserve to be looked after. There was a reason why he was beaten up everyday, and that was because no one cared. He didn't deserve to be cared for. Why did Phil care so much?  
Phil shh'd him, and started to walk faster. "Why are you walki-" Dan started, but stopped quickly when a few figures caught his eye at the other side of the school field. The two people Dan didn't want to see.  
"I'll walk." Dan whispered to 'his saviour'.  
"No Da-"  
"I'll walk." He whispered with a more firmer tone of voice.  
Phil put Dan down; hesitantly but quickly. After checking that Dan was able to stand relatively well enough, they walked off, picking up speed by the second.  
"HEY!" Tom called out from the other side of the field at the boys, anger evident in his shout.  
Without warning; and a lot of adrenaline I might add; Dan started to run, grabbing Phil's hand and pulling him along with him. Even though running in this state was a daily occurrence, Dan still didn't know where in hell his inner strength had come from to push him that little bit further.

* * *

"Are you okay?" Phil asked frantically as he watched Dan hunch over. They were very far away from Tom and his 'tag along' by now, in fact, they didn't actually know if they had chased after them.  
"Yeah... yeah... I think I-" Dan said, but was interrupted as he threw violently up on the curb. Phil rubbed his back sympathetically.  
_He doesn't deserve this _Phil thought to himself, as he pulled a tissue out of his backpack and passed it to Dan.

* * *

Both boys couldn't be any happier when they saw Phil's house in their reach. Dan had collapsed on Phil part of the way from the 'puke road'; which is what Dan had named it; so Phil was trying his best to keep Dan upright and walking whilst holding both his and Dan's heavy backpacks.  
Once Dan got through Phil's front door, and Phil closed it, he slid down it to the floor, trying to control his breathing.  
"Dan... Do you want to lie down maybe... I mean.. the floor isn't comfy..." Phil tried to help.  
Dan nodded weakly, and let Phil lift him up, and take him up the stairs.  
Dan collapsed, once more, on Phil's bed; falling almost gracefully onto the comfy mattress. Phil set his and Dan's backpacks on the floor, and then helped Dan into the bed, tucking him in as if Dan was his child.  
"Can I get you anything?" Phil said sweetly.  
"W-water, p-pl-please?" Dan asked politely, his voice cracking and breaking. Phil just nodded and went down stairs to the kitchen.  
While he was pulling a glass out of the cupboard and filling it with water, Phil thought about how nice it was to have a friend again, no matter how broken or hurt he was. It was obvious that Dan had a rough background, and home life, but Phil didn't want to intrude. He'll wait until Dan was ready to tell him, no matter how long it takes.

"Hey Dan... I was wondering if you..." Phil spoke as he walked into his bedroom again with the glass of water, but stopped himself as he heard the soft snores coming from the bed. Phil stepped closer just to look at Dan. Was that creepy? Oh well. He couldnt help but notice how adorable Dan looked clutching onto Phil's lion as he slept peacefully. Wait, _what? Adorable?_ He didn't just think that, did he?!

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**Hi guys! Sorry this is shit and its really short and its taken me like 18 years to update and its not the length I intended it to be, I wanted it to be longer and its just a filler chapter which I think are pointless even though they help the storyline and... sorry I just really don't ****like this chapter personally, but hey ho! Its an update, right? :')  
****Thanks for the people who have reviewed! But seriously, if you have read this, just quickly review it please? Even if its anonymous, I don't care. It just when no one reviews it makes me think no one likes it, and then I'm ****skeptical about posting again.. I'm just a really paranoid person... **

**Anyway, bye! - Briony :D**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey guys! This chapter will most definitely be triggering.. if you know, you are triggered easily..**

* * *

"I am not afraid to keep on living…" Dan awoke to the quiet mumble of one of his favourite songs, "…I am not afraid to walk this world alone…" Dan opened his eyes to see the beautiful blue-eyed boy sitting across the room playing some sort of video game, "…Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiving…" Dan sat up slowly, putting his arms back to lean on so he could relax without causing himself pain, "…nothing you can say can stop me going home." As if on cue; when Phil finished the song; he completed the level; doing a little dance

Without himself even realising, Dan was clapping, causing Phil to jump in shock and then spin around to face Dan; his cheeks turning a bright shade of red. _God he's adorable_**.  
**"H-how… how long have you been awake?" Phil stumbled out his words, obviously not expecting to have an audience for his little sing-song.  
"Long enough to hear you singing." Dan smiled. Phil blushed again, making his crystal eyes shine even brighter.  
"Do you wanna play?" Phil asked, lifting up the games controller in his hand just to make it clear that he meant a video game.  
Dan looked down. How would he say this without sounding like an idiot?  
"I, er, I-I've never played a video game…" Dan mumbled. He heard Phil gasp and waited for the string of insults ranging from loser to things much worse. But they never came.  
He looked up slowly to see Phil perched on the end of the bed, two games controllers sat next to him. Dan looked from Phil to the controllers, then back at Phil again. "I'll teach you," Phil patted the space next to him, before realising it probably wasn't best for Dan to move. Instead, he moved up the bed so that he was next to the 'injured solider'.  
"Scooch up! I'm falling off the bed here!" Phil joked. Dan did as he was told, and soon the two boys were in video game mode.

* * *

"No! This button!" Phil laughed as Dan tried to fight off a monster but instead just kept jumping, "it's this button! 'A' is to jump, 'B' is to fight," Phil giggled again.  
"I will never get the hang of this!"  
"Sure you will! You just fight when you need to!" Phil giggled again, causing Dan's heart to race once more.

* * *

After a few rounds of Phil winning, Dan finally won on default. Phil cheered for him, raising his arms in the air. But this caused his sleeves to fall down; as he shirt was a bit big for him. Unfortunately, Phil himself didn't notice… but Dan did.  
Dan seemed to be focused on Phil's arms. Phil noticed his, and his eyes too trailed down to where Dan's eyes landed. Phil pulled his sleeves down sharply, looking down immediately.  
"Phil… show me your arms…"  
Phil shook his head; holding his sleeve ends in his hands so that his hands were covered as well.  
"Phil… let me see." Dan touched Phil's back and bent down slightly to look at Phil's face. His noticed a small tear fall down his cheek onto his leg. This soon became full blown sobbing.  
"Hey…" Dan said soothingly, lifting Phil's chin and pulling him into a tight hug, "I care about you, you know?" Dan whispered into Phil's ear. Phil nodded, burying his face into Dan's shoulder. Dan continued to rub his friend's back hoping in some way that it was helping.  
After a few minutes, Phil pulled away. Dan tried to contain his disappointment as he had enjoyed that hug immensely.  
To Dan's shock, Phil slowly pushed up his sleeves; wincing as he brushed over the new scratches; to reveal the secrets he had been hiding. Dan gasped, before pulling him into another tight hug.  
When pulled away, Dan looked down at Phil's arms again. To Phil's surprise, Dan took his arms into his own hands, and started to kiss the scars; pressing his lips to each scar delicately.  
Phil started to choke up again as each purple and red cut was 'helped'.

_Jesus, Phil, you're such an idiot for being so careless. You'll have to punish yourself some more again for letting Dan see your scars and letting you think he actually cares about you. He just feels sorry for you. No one cares about you. You're just your mum's little toy that she can play about with whenever she wants something. No one actually wants you in their life. _

"Please don't do it again." Dan pleaded, trying to look into Phil's bright blue orbs. Phil avoided the eye contact and stayed quiet, too embarrassed and frightened to speak.  
Dan looked at the clock and realised that he'd been here well over 7 hours, meaning he'd been asleep for at least 5 of them.  
"I should, er, probably go…"  
"Please don't leave me."

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**Allo! I'm not sure whether I like this chapter or not... Its really short for a start... Oh well!  
I won't bore you with the review talk, but please do! Thanks guys!**


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